Book XIV, chapters 8–13: Cookery

CHAP. VIII.

How Animals may be boiled, rosted, and baked, all at once.

I Have thus far spoken to please the palate. Now I shall represent some merry conceits to delight the guests, Namely,

How a Hog may be rosted, and boiled, all at once.

Athenaeus in his ninth Book of Dipnosophistae (Dalachampius translates it more elegantly) saying; There was a Hog brought to us, that was half of it well rosted, and half of it was soft boil'd in water; and the Cook had used great industry to provide it, that it should not be seen in what part he was stuck: for he was killed with a small wound under his shoulder, and the blood was so let out; all his intestines were well washed with wine; and hanging him by the heels, he again poured wine on him, and rosted him with much Pepper. He filled half the Hog with much Barley-flouer, kneaded together with Wine and Barley; and he put him into an Oven, setting a brass platter under him: and he took care to rost him so leasurely, that he should neither burn, nor be taken up raw; for when his skin seemed somewhat dry, he conjectured the rest was rosted. He took away the Barley-meal, and set him on the Table. So

A Capon may be boil'd, and rosted.

Put a Capon well pulled, and his guts taken out, into a silver dish, and fill the one half of him with broth, and put him into an Oven; for the upper part will be rosted by the heat of the Oven, and the under part will be boiled. Nor will it be less pleasant to behold

A Lamprey fried, boil[…]d, and rosted all at once.

Before you boil your Lamprey, take out his bones, to make it more graceful, for his flesh is full of bones; which you shall do with two little sticks held in both hands; and fastning the Lamprey in the middle, you shall cut his back-bone in the middle: then his head and end of his tail, about which the bones are heaped, by reason of the bones pulled out; being cut off, and his entrails taken forth, put him on a spit, and wrap about three or four times with fillets, all the parts that are to be rosted and fried, strewing upon the one Pepper; and the fillets must be made wet in Parsley, Saffron, Mint, Fennel, and sweet wine; or with water and salt, or broth, for the rosted parts; for the fried parts with Oyl: and so let him be turned, always moystning the fillets with strewing on the decoction of Origanum: When part of it is rosted, take it from the fire, and it will be gallant meat; set it before your guests.

CHAP. IX.

Of divers ways to dress Pullets.

I Shall here set down divers ways to dress Chickens, that will be very pleasant for the guests. So that

A boiled Peacock may seem to be alive.

Kill a Peacock, either by thrusting a quill into his brain from above, or else cut his throat, as you do for yong kids, that the blood may come forth: then cut his skin gently from his throat unto his tail; and being cut, pull it off with his feathers from his whole body to his head: cut off that with the skin, and legs, and keep it: Rost the Peacock on a spit: his body being strffed with spices and sweet herbs, sticking first on his brest cloves, and wrapping his neck in a white linnen cloth; wet it always with water, that it may never dry: when the Peacock is rosted, and taken from the spit, put him into his own skin again; and that he may seem to stand upon his feet, you shall thrust small iron wires, made on purpose, through his legs, and set fast on a board, that they may rot be discerned, and through his body to his head and tail. Some put Camphire in his mouth: and when he is set on the table, they cast in fire. Platira shews that the same may be done with Pheasants, Geese, Capons, and other Birds; and we observe these things amongst our Guests. But it will be a more rare sight, to see

A Goose rosted alive.

A little before our times, a Goose was wont to be brought to the Table of the King of Arragon, that was rosted alive, as I have heard by old men of credit. And when I went to try it, my company were so hasty, that we eat him up before he was quite rosted. He was alive, and the upper part of him, on the outside, was excellent well rosted. The rule to do it is thus: Take a Duck, or a Goose, or some such lu[…]y creature, but the Goose is best for this purpose; pull all the feathers from his body, leaving his head and his neck: Then make a fire round about him, not too narrow, left the smoke choke him, or the fire should rost him too soon; not too wide, lest he escape unrosted. Within-side set everywhere little pots full of water, and put Salt and Meum to them. Let the goose be smeered all over with Suet, and well larded, that he may be the better meat, and rost the better: put fire about, but make no too much hast: when he begins to rost, he will walk about, and cannot get forth, for the fire stops him: when he is weary, he quencheth his thirst by drinking the water, by cooling his heart, and the rest of his internal parts. The force of the Medicament loosneth and cleanseth his belly, so that he grows empty; and when he is very hot, it rosts his inward parts. Continually moysten his head and heart with a spunge. But when you see him run mad up and down, and to stumble (his heart then wants moysture) wherefore take him away, and set him on the Table to your Guests, who will cry as you pull off his parts; and you shall almost eat him up before he is dead. If you would set on the Table.

A yong Pigeon, with his bones pulled out,

you shall take out his bones thus: Put a yong Pigeon, his entrails taken forth and well wash'd, for to lye a night and a day in strong Vinegar: then wash him well, and fill him with Spices and Herbs, and rost him or boil him, as you please; either way you shall find him without bones. Of old, they brought to the Table

The Trojan Hog.

The Antient Gluttons invented, how a whole Ox or Camel should be set on the Table, and divers other creatures. Hence the people had a Tale concerning the Trojan Hog; so called, because he covered in his belly, many kinds of living creatures, as the Trojan Horse concealed many armed men. Macrobius reports, 3. Lib. Satur. That Cincius in his Oration, where he perswades to put in practise Fannius his Law concerning Moderation of Expence, did Object to the men of his age, that they brought the Trojan Hog to their Tables. Collers of Brawn, and the Trojan Hog, were forbidden by the Law of regulating expence. The Hog was killed, as Dalachampas translates it, with a small wound under his shoulder: When much blood was run forth, all his entrails were taken out, and cut off where they began; and after that he was often and well washed with wine, and hang'd up by the heels, and again wash'd with wine, he is rosted with Musk, Pepper: then the foresaid dainties, namely, Thrushes, Udders, G[…]at-snappers, and many Eggs poured unto them, Oysters, Scallops, were thrust into his belly at his mouth: he is washed with plenty of excellent liquor, and half the Hog is filled with Polenta, that is, with Barley, and Barley-Meal, Wine, and Oyl, kneaded together; and so is he put into the Oven, with a brass pan set under: and care must be had to rost him so leasurely, that he neither burn, nor continue raw: for when the skin seems crup, it is a sign all is rosted, and the Polenta is taken away. Then a silver platter is brought in, onely gilded, but not very thick, big enough to contain the rosted Hog, that must lye on his back in it, and his belly sticking forth, that is stuft with diversity of goods; and so is he set on the Table. Athenaeus Lib. 9. Dipnosophist. But

That an Egge may grow bigger than a mans head.

If you would have an Egge so big, there is an Art, how it may cover other Eggs in it, and not be known from a natural Egge. You shall part fifty or more yelks of Eggs, and whites, one from the other: mingle the yelks gently, and put them into a bladder, and bind it as round as you can; put it into a pot full of water: and when you see it bubble, or when they are grown hard; take them out, and add the whites to them; so fitting the velks, that they may stand in the middle, and boil them again; so shall you have an Egge made without a shell, which you shall frame thus. Powder the white Egge-shells, clean washed, that they may fly into fine dust; steep this in strong or distilled Vinegar, till they grow soft; for if an Egge ly long in Vinegar, the shell will dislove, and grow tender, that it may easily be thrust through the small mouth of a glass: when it is thrust in, with fair water it will come to its former hardness, that you will wonder at it: when the shells dissolved are like to an unguent, with a Pencil make a shell about your Egge that is boiled, and let it harden in clear water: so shall you have a true natural Egge.

CHAP. X.

How Meats may be prepared in places where there is nothing to rost them with.

SOmetimes it falls out that Men are in places where there want many things fit to provide supper; but where convenience wants, wit may do it: if you want a frying pan, you shall know

How to fry fish on a paper.

Make a frying pan with plain paper, put in oyl and fishes: then set this on burning coles, without flame, and it will be done the sooner and better. But if you will

Rost a Chickin without a fire;

That Chickins may rost whilst we are in our Voyage: Put a piece of steel into the fire, put this into a Chicken that is pulled and his guts taken forth, and cover him well with clothes, that the heat breathe not out, and if he do smell ill, yet the meat is good. If you want Servants to turn the spit, and you would have

A Bird to rost himself,

do thus: For the Bird will turn himself. Albertus writes, That a Bird called a Ren, that is the smallest of all Birds, if you put him on a spit, made of Hazel-wood, and put fire under, he will turn as if he turned himself. Which comes from the property of the wood, not from the Bird: and that is false the Philosopher said; for if you put fire under a Hazel-rod, it will twist, and seem to turn it self; and what flesh you put on it, if it be not too weighty, will turn about with it. So

Eggs are rosted without fire.

Eggs laid in quick Lime, and sprinkled with water, are rosted; for the Lime will grow as hot as fire. The Babylonians have their invention, when they are in the Wilderness, and cannot have an opportunity to boil Eggs; they put raw Eggs into a sling, and turn them about till they be rosted. But if you

Want Salt

for your meats, the seed of Sumach strewed in with Benjamin, will season any thing. Pliny. If you want Salt, and would

Keep flesh without Salt,

Cover what flesh you will with honey, when they are fresh; but hang up the vessel you put it into, longer in winter, a less time in summer. If you would have

That Salt-flesh should be made fresh.

First, boil your Salted flesh in milk, and then in water, and it will be fresh. Apicius, You shall learn thus

To wash spots from linnen clothes,

If you want Sope, for red wine will so stain them, that you can hardly wash them out without it: But when it doth fall down and stain them, cast Salt upon them, and it will take out the spots. If there want

Groundlings, how to make them.

Suidas saith, That when Nicomedes, King of Bithynia, longed for some of these Fish, and living far from the Sea, could get none; Apicius the glutton, made the Pictures of these Fish, and set them on the Table, so like, as if they had been the same. They were prepared thus: He cut the female Rape-root into long thin pieces, like to these Fish, which he boil'd in Oyl, and strewed with Salt and Pepper, and so he freed him from his longing. As Aethenaeus saith, in Cuphron. Comic. If there want fire, I have shewed already how to make divers sorts of Artificial fires.

CHAP. XI.

Of divers Confections of Wines.

NOw I come to drink, for I have spoken of meat sufficiently. And I will teach you to make many sorts of wines, and that they may be pleasant and odorifetous; for I have said already what ways it may be made without pains. If you will

That you Wine shall smell of Musk,

Take a glass Vial, and wash it, and fill it with Aqua vita, and put into it a little musk; stop the mouth close, that it vent not, set it in the summer-Sun two weeks, always stirring the water. The use is, if you put a drop of this into a gallon of wine, all the wine will smell of Musk; and so for Cinnamon or other Spices. So you may make

Hippocras Wine,

Take the sweetest wine, we call it commonly Mangiagu[…]rra, and into four Vials full of that, pour in two pounds of beaten Sugar, four ounces of Cinnamon, Pepper, and grains of Paradise, one ounce and half: let them infuse one day; then strain them: adde in the end in a knot a little Musk, and it will be excellent Wine; or to powdred Sugar we put a little Aqua vitae, wherein Cinnamon, Pepper, Grains of Paradise, and musk have been infused, as I said, and it is presently provided, for it draws forth the quintessence. I shall shew how

Wine may freeze in Glasses.

Because the chief thing desired at Feasts, is that Wine cold as ice may be drunk, especially in summer; I will teach you how Wine shall presently, not onely grow cold, but freeze, that you cannot drink it but by sucking, and drawing in of your breath. Put Wine into a Vial, and put a little water to it, that it may turn to ice the sooner; then cast snow into a wooden vessel, and strew into it Salt-peter, powdred, or the cleansing of Salt-peter, called vulgarly Salazzo. Turn the Vial in the snow, and it will congeal by degrees. Some keep snow all the summer. Let water boil in brass kettles, then pour it into great bowls, and set them in the frosty cold Air, it will freeze, and grow harder than snow, and last longer.

CHAP. XII.

To make men drunk, and to make them loath Wine.

NOw we are come to speak of Wine; before we pass from it, I will shew you how to make your guests drunk; for drunkenness at Feasts, increaseth mirth: and then how to keep them safe from drunkenness, when they are often provoked to drink healths, and to strive who shall drink most. You may with these fruits

Make men drunk.

The fruits of the Arbute, and the Lote-tree, being eaten, will make men as though they were drunk: also Dates eat in too great a quantity, cause drunkenness, and the pain of the head; Sow-bread with Wine, makes a man drunk. Amber-greese, or Musk, put in Wine, exasperate drunkenness: The filth of a Dogs ear mingled with Wine, makes one drunk, as Albertus saith. But Rhases, out of whom he took it, saith, That Wine, wherein the seeds of Ricinus are infused, if any one drink it, it will inebriate them. Camels froth, drunk with water by a drunken man, will make him mad, as possessed with a Devil. Let these suffice, for I said more in my description of Plants. But on the contrary, these things will

Take away drunkenness.

Because Hemlock, with Wine, is the cause of death by its venome, it hath been invented and found true, that Hemlock is the cause of life to others. Pliny seems to intimate as much. Also, venoms are prepared to drink, some taking Hemlock before, that they may drink, and die. If a man hath drunk too much Wine, that doth him hurt, he shall discuss it thus: Cato bids, that at the beginning and middle of Supper, a man should eat four or five tops of raw Coleworts, and it will take off his drunkenness, and remove the hurt comes by Wine, and will make a man as though he had neither eat nor drank. The Egyptians, before all meat, did eat boil'd Coleworts, and so provided themselves for drink. Many to keep themselves sober, take Colewort-seeds first. The Tibaritae, saith Simaeus, before they drank, fenced themselves by feeding on Coleworts. Alexis.

Yesterday thou drank'st too much,
And now thy head doth ake: but such
Distemper fasting cures; then
Eat boil'd Coleworts, drink agen.

And Amphis.

There is no means can half so well
As sudden trouble drink dispel.
For that will wonderfully cure:
Eat else Radish, that's as sure.

They were wont in a vessel of Amethyst, to make another remedy for drunkenness, that they might drink Wine without danger. Athenaeus. If you would otherwise hinder the vapours of the Wine, drink it well tempered with water; for they are soonest drunk, that drink strongest Wines. Africa[…] saith, If thou have drunk too much, eat before meat three or four bitter Almonds: they are drying, and will drink up the moysture, and drive away drunkenness. Plutarch relates, That there was a Physitian with Dr[…]s[…]s, who when he had first eaten five or six bitter Almonds, he always conquered at the duel of drunkenness. The powder of Pumex-stone will do as much, if the drinker take that first. Theophrastus saith it is dangerous, unless he drink abundantly. So E[…]de[…] drank two and twenty Cups, at last he went into a Bath, and did not vomit; and supped, so as if he had drank nothing: for by its drying quality, it consumes all the moysture; and being cast into a vessel of new Wine that works, the heat of the Wine is strait allayed. There are other things prepated by the Antients, to extinguish drunkenness, as to eat Lettice at the end of Supper, for they are very cold: we eat it now first, to procure appetite: whence Martial writes,

Why do we first our Lettice eat?
Our Fathers made it their last meat.

Dioscorides seems to call it Acrepula, because it hinders drunkenness. Leeks discuss drunkenness: and he that takes Saffron before, shall feel no drunkenness. There are also Herbs and Flowers, that if you make Garlands of them, they will hinder drunkenness; as Violets, Roses, and Ivy-berries. The ashes of the Bill of a Swallow, powdred with Myrrhe, and strewed into the Wine you drink, will keep you secure from being drunk. H[…]rus the King of Assyria found out this invention. Pliny. I have said how drunkenness may be disposed: now I shall shew how men shall abstain,

That love Wine, to refrain it,

There are many who when they have drank much Wine, that is the worst thing in the world for them, fall sick, and die of it. Now if you would refrain, and abhor Wine and strong drink, because the Fountain Clitorins is too far off; let three or four live eels, put into the Wine, stay there till they die. Let one drink of this Wine, who is given to drunkenness, and he will loath Wine, and always hate it, and will never drink it again: or if he do, he will drink but little, and with much sobriety. Another way: wash a Tortois with Wine a good while, and give one of that wine to drink privately, half a cup full every morning for three days, and you shall see a wonderful vertue. Myrepsus. VVhen one complained before the King of the Indians, that he had Sons born to him, but when once they began to drink a little wine, they all died; Jarchus answered him thus: It is better for them that they died; for had they lived, they would have all run mad, because they were begot of seed that was too cold. Therefore your children must abstain from wine, so that they may not so much as desire it. VVherefore if you have any mote Sons born, observe this rule: see where an Owl lays her eggs; and boil her eggs rere, and give them your childe to eat; for if the childe eat them before he drinks wine, he will always hate it, and live sober, because his natural heat is made more temperate. Philostratus, in the life of Apollonius. Democritus saith, the desire of wine is abolished, with the watry juice that runs from Vines pruned, if you give it a drunkard to drink, who knows not of it.

CHAP. XIII.

How to drive Parasites and Flatterers from great mens Tables.

IT is an easie matter to drive away from our Tables, and great mens Tables, all smell-feasts, and cogging foisting fellows, and this will make our guests very cheerfull and glad, to see such Cormorants and Parasites driven away, and derided by all men. When therefore he sits down at Table,

That his hands may grow black when he wipes of the Napkin,

Beat Vitriol and Galls in a Mortar, put them in a narrow close sieve, that the powder may come forth very fine; with this wipe the Napkin, and shake it; that what sticks not, may fall off: then rub it with your hands, till you find that it sticks very fast; then wiping and shaking off what stays not within, when the Parasite hath new washed his hands and face, cast to him the Towel to wipe himself; and when it is wet, it will make his hands and face as black as a cole, that will very hardly be wash'd out with many washings. Being now wash'd and wiped,

That he may not swallow the meat the chews.

And we shall make him feel the more pain, if he be any thing dainty. I find in writing, that if you stick under the Table a needle, that hath often sowed the winding-sheet of the dead; and do this privately before supper, the guests cannot eat, that they will rather loath the meat, than eat it. But experience proves this to be false and superstitious. Florentinus saith, That Basel is an enemy to women, and that so much, that if it be put under the dish, and the woman knows not of it, she will never put her hand to the dish, before it be taken away: but this is a most fearful lye. For a woman and Basel agree so well, that they not onely sow and plant them with great diligence in their Gardens, hanging in the Air; but they frequently feed on them in meats and sallets. I have done it oft-times: I infused in a glass of wine one drachm of the root of an herb we call Belladonna, Fair Lady, not bruising it too much; and after twelve hours, or a little more, po[…]r out this wine into another cup, and give him that must eat with you, in the morning a cup of it to drink: then derain him with you three hours; then call him to your Table, for the morsel he takes in his mouth, he can by no means swallow down, but he must hurt his chaps, and be in great pain, so that he can hardly drink. If you would have him eat or drink, let him gargle a good quantity of milk or vinegar in his mouth, and he will be as if he had suffered nothing at all. If we will

Drive Parasites from great mens Tables,

we can easily do it thus: If we strew some of the dry roots of Wake-robbin on the daintiest meats, like Cinnamon or Pepper, in powder; when he takes a bit of it, it will so burn his chaps, and bite his mouth and tongue, and so fetch off the skin of his tongue, that he will so mump; and draw his chaps in and out, and gape, and make such sport, that will make people laugh: and the pain will not abate, until he hath anointed his chaps with butter and milk. Moreover, if you cut the leaves of Cuckow pint small, and mingle them with […]allets; those that eat of them, will have their mouths and tongues to drivel so much, with thick spittle, that they cannot eat till they have wash'd it off. And it will be as good sport, if you like not your guest.

That all thing the smell-feast eats, may taste bitter,

If you rub the edge of the Knife, and the Napkin he wipes his mouth with, with the juice of Coloquincida, or flesh of it, and lay it before him: For when he cuts bread with the Knife, or any things else, and shall touch his lips with the Napkin, it will give him such a filthy and abominable taste, that whatever he toucheth, tasteth, or licks, will have a most horrible smack with it; and the oftner he wipes his mouth, that he may wipe away this bitter taste, the more will his mouth, palate, and jaws, be tormented, that he will be forced to forsake the Table. We can also delude him so,

That when he drinks, the cup shall stick to his mouth, that he can hardly pull it off.

Besmeer the cups mouth with the milk of Figs, and Gum-traganth dissolved in it; for when they are dry, they will be clear: but when he drinks, the cup will stick so fast to his lips, that when he hath done drinking, he can hardly pull it off. We shall do thus,

That flesh may look bloody and full of worms, and so be rejected

by smell-feasts. Boil Hares blood, and dry it, and powder it; and cast the powder upon the meats that are boil'd, which will melt by the heat and moysture of the meat, that they will seem all bloody, and he will loath and refuse them. Any man may eat them without any rising of his stomack. If you cut Harp-strings small, and strew them on hot flesh, the heat will twist them, and they will move like worms.